By Emily Lloyd Hamilton
I’m a writer. I know that words have impact. That they’re signals that leave our brains and our mouths to be received and responded to.
Reception and response: these are what words elicit – and not in a purely intellectual way, where you hear or read a word, process it and decide how to react. The impact of words is deeper, visceral and subliminal.
As proof of this – and top of mind as I prepare to start maternity leave for the first time – is the concept of hypnobirthing.
Hypnobirthing involves using visualisation, breathing and relaxation techniques to stay calm and focused during childbirth. It also has a strong focus on language.
Because the science suggests that being positive and relaxed helps you to withstand pain by producing greater levels of oxytocin, the feel-good, love hormone.
Positive framing can lead to a more positive mindset
A big part of hypnobirthing is the language. Women and their birth partners are encouraged to avoid “negative” language – because your body can respond negatively to it, and this in turn can slow down the birthing process.
So instead of “contraction” (which makes us think of pain), hynobirthing suggests words like “surge” and “wave”.
And instead of “pain”, hypnobirthing suggests thinking about “power” or “pressure”.
Getting medical professionals to change their approach
For the power of positive language to have the greatest effect, it’s important that everyone involved in childbirth gets on board. So hypnobirthing recommends women create a “birth preferences document”, setting out what they’d like to happen during their labour – and including words and phrases they’d like midwives and doctors to use or avoid.
It’s a more patient-centric approach, and it represents a positive move away from some traditional approaches to communicating around pregnancy and birth.
For example, it’s still not unusual for medical teams to use the term “failure to progress” – if labour isn’t moving along nicely. Best practice now, however, suggests saying “slow labour” instead. Because not surprisingly, telling someone who’s maybe been in labour for hours that she’s failing doesn’t do much for her confidence and motivation levels.
Does it really make a difference?
For a lot of women and their partners, the evidence seems to be that yes, it does.
But no one approach works well for everyone – and when it comes to having a baby, you can never predict exactly what will happen and when you might have to jettison all your careful preparation.
But what it does show is that language can have deep, gut-reaction impact – and that we should all use it with greater care and intent.
Update: Emily had a healthy little boy. Congratulations to her and James!